THURSDAY THOUGHTS! – What makes you happy and why?

New-Intl-Day-HappinessMarch 20th is designated as the United Nations International Day of Happiness, so lets reclaim as many happy moments as possible and discuss/share what makes us happy.  This is fundamental to both our professional success AND maintaining a healthy work/life balance and it is based on interaction and feeling. Basic and real connection. That’s magnificent engagement – a thing most organisations strive to obtain.

In fact, according to a recent survey by the charity Action for Happiness, 87% of people would pick being happy over money, and the chief reason for happiness was their relationships with their friends and family. In other words: not money or what it can buy.

The charity’s Director of Action for Happiness Mark Williamson said: “The UN Day of Happiness is about the fact that happiness really matters. It matters for us and our loved ones – and it matters for our countries and leaders too. All around the world, people are recognising that real progress is about more than just growing the economy – it’s about increasing human happiness and wellbeing”.

Join the movement raising awareness of what makes people happy, and don’t forget to SHARE the pic that makes you happy more than anything else.  So lets try and bottle it, if only for a day and say why it makes you happy. Here are the pictures that always make me smile, I shared them on Facebook and Twitter earlier this morning:

Screen Shot 2014-03-20 at 09.46.37

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Why do they make me happy?  Its about people, time and place.  The combination of all three makes me very happy indeed.  The first pic is one of only two occasions I’ve managed to get the most special people in my life in the place that means the most to me = happiness overload!!  The second is a wonderful consequence of the first!  The next time I get to update the first picture is on 9th August this year, when we are all in this special same place yet again, at the marriage of our second son.

So, this is about right people, in the right place, at the right time.  A level of engagement organisations strive to achieve and pay many £££££ for.  If each of us was to take just ONE lesson from our happiness pictures, and translate that lesson into the workplace, it would be a much happier place for everyone.  My lesson, for many years now, involves: patience/tolerance/acceptance/making the most of our differences/enjoying what we are all striving for at the time/finding the positive excitement in our goals/building better relationships.  I’ve tried to live these values at home, and in work.  Only those I’ve lived and worked with can say if I’ve achieved it.

Someone provided me with some formal 360 feedback once that said (and I quote): “Sharon does everything possible to build happy, harmonious and productive teams”.  I guess I succeeded a bit 🙂

What would your lesson be?

THURSDAY THOUGHTS! – Look up, not down!

How often do you look up to people? Do you endeavour to seek and find the good in everyone you meet, or do you make judgement calls based on first sight. What do you think of this?

Now look at yourself and answer this question honestly!

THURSDAY THOUGHTS! – World Book Day – what are you reading?

darwinThis was a question asked by the Chartered Management Institute last month, of future leaders.  The CMI launched an essay competition for those under 30, focussing specifically on this question.  For any future young leaders amongst our readers, the competition can be found HERE.  The deadline for submissions is 15th March 2014.

Management and leadership competence and development has been a long-time interest of mine.  Keeping up to date with current thinking is hugely important to Aresko generally is I am to be able to add value to any client situation.

So, given its World Book Day today, I thought it would be timely to share what we are currently reading to enhance our thinking AND declare what our favourite management text is, and why.

I am currently reading: “Lean In” by Sheryl Sandberg, the Chief Operating Officer at Facebook (previously Google and the US Treasury Department).  It’s about her story of women, work and the will to lead.  It starts with her experiences as a senior executive at Google in her first pregnancy and outlines (now) obvious workplace modifications to enable organisations to keep the skills and experience of pregnant female employees – of whatever level.  It continues in this vein, outlining why some and not others “lean in” and tackle issues in the workplace which make things better for bigger numbers of people, i.e. leadership examples.  It’s a marvellous account of  the value of women vis a vie the context of the workplace being male oriented.  I like the book a lot and it never ceases to amaze me why many women shy away from leadership roles in the way that men never would.  I’ve always been a bit of a “I-feel-so-strongly-about-that,-I’m-going-to-do-anything-I-can-to-make-it-better” kind of woman.  Many moons ago, my dear Dad called me “goal orientated” and it was the first time that phrase had ever touched my young years.  Little did I know it would form the majority of my professional life experiences in the future!

Again, many moons ago (2001 to be precise as I rediscovered the book today and when opening it found I had written my name and the date on the inside cover.  This is a habit I have with books, it plants them firmly in a specific time of my life), I read a tiny little book called:  “Who Moved My Cheese” by Dr Spencer Johnson.  I read it just because I was told to read it.  It was on my reading list for my MBA which I was undertaking at the time.  I opened it with trepidation and discovered a fabulous little story of how to cope and deal with change.  Cheese being a metaphore for whatever the big thing is in your life that you desperately want and need to happen at the time.

It is 73 pages of big writing which had a profound inspiration on my future career pathway.  You can read it easily in an hour or two and I will promise you, you will read it many times thereafter.  Personally, I’ve probably read this about a dozen times now.  I’ve moved house 3 times since I first read it and its always been in the “must not lose” box when packing.

It’s the story of some mice in a maze trying to find the cheese.  It explains why some are more successful than others at the task and the wider application of the messages it contains is never-ending!  I would love you to read it too and let me know what you think.

What are you currently reading and influenced by?  What would be your pivotal framework for that essay we talked about at the beginning of this post, if you were (or indeed you are) entering that competition?

THURSDAY THOUGHTS! – World’s most trusted leader, or ostrich or bull?

LeadershipThis is a graphic explanation of leadership.  The theory on the left looks nice and neat, whereas the practice on the right looks like chaos.  It looks like chaos because many a person who now considers themselves to be “a leader” feels like that when they are expected to step up to the mark and demonstrate leadership traits.

The theory on the left is what managers learn about leadership from books or business schools: that leadership is the pinnacle of a pyramid of management and promotional circumstances.

The practice on the right is their experience of that pinnacle, on a daily basis!

Leadership is easy until you factor in people.  Unfortunately, leadership is very much all about people, leading them, their competences, their time along paths they might not wish to travel.  At this point, the “leader”, i.e. you, particularly if it’s left unchecked in your early leadership career, either becomes an ostrich or a bull, because this is all about successfully dealing with tensions and resistances.

The key issue at this point is to determine commitment.  Your own as well as your team’s.  Because those who are not committed, merely find fault and blame.  Those who are committed, find a way!

I have witnessed many an encounter where someone has spent a significant amount of time telling me why something can’t happen, or why they can’t do something, or even why its all going to go so terribly wrong.  You know the conversations.  No alternatives are provided, or means of overcoming sought.  It’s just gloom and doom all the way.  To illustrate a point of a previous Thursday Thoughts!, they are the folk who provide little or no discretionary effort, if left to their own devices.  These are the folk who should bring out the best of your management and leadership traits, as they are the ones who provide most challenge to you.

So, whats your reaction to this?  Do you assume ostrich tendencies, and bury your head, perhaps turning to others to support you and dismissing them as “obstructive”?  This suggests neither of you are truly committed, to the task or to the relationship.

Do you become a bull, and force your ideas and thoughts through despite all their reservations?  You give the appearance of listening to them, but at the end of the day,  you are going to do this “thing” whether they like it or not! This suggests you are committed to the “thing” but not committed to them!  They will see through this bull-behaviour, they always do, and beware what they are saying outside the team.  Your reputation is growing by the minute.  As a bull that is!

Or do you listen, process what they are saying, walk a moment in their shoes, rationalise their concerns and either drop the issue if, on reflection they are (shock horror) right, or find ways to make something, not necessarily the original idea, happen and produce a win-win scenario related to the issue at hand?  This demonstrates a committed leader.  Committed to the task, AND committed to the people they rely on to deliver for them.  This tendency will certainly motivate teams to listen back in the future and new ideas will always be given due consideration, not dismissed out of hand.

I don’t think any successful leader has always got it right – they are only human after all.  But the most successful ones take their coaching seriously in order to find these pathways more of the time.

Leave the ostrich and the bull tendencies behind, take the first step in building that reputation for being one of the “most trusted” leaders, today!

THURSDAY THOUGHTS! – Do you definitely, probably or possibly need it?

special_offerIf you are reading this, please do SHARE with your network widely. You might just inspire someone to take that important first step.

This is what Wikipedia says about “coaching”

“Coaching is a training or development process via which an individual is supported whilst achieving a specific personal or professional competence result or goal.”

The structures, models and methodologies available to help in a coaching relationship are numerous, and may be designed to facilitate thinking, or learning a new behaviour  for personal growth or professional advancement. There are also many forms of coaching that help improve a physical or managerial skill, like managing your in box, or managing your staff.

But the basic process is one of questioning the individual deeply, so that they discover things they didn’t know about themselves, knew but had been conveniently ignoring, or things that others clearly see but which are invisible to the person being coached (for a multitude of reasons).  It’s about seeking and discovering but more importantly, it’s about acknowledging and owning an appropriate plan of remedy or improvement.

Aresko undertakes business coaching which provides positive support, feedback and advice to any individual or group wishing to improve their personal effectiveness in the organisational setting. Business coaching includes executive coaching, corporate coaching and leadership coaching.

If you don’t think you need it – you most definitely do!

If you think you need it – you probably do!

If you are currently having it – are you doing things noticeably differently on a weekly basis?  If not, then you possibly need a different coach!

 This is a very special relationship indeed – it’s driven by you, so if you are merely turning up now and again, expecting your coach to wave that magic wand and expecting everyone around you to go, “Wow, you’ve changed, and for the better too!”  then you are sadly disillusioned. FACT.

Here are a clutch of coaching questions which I want you to answer honestly.  You don’t have to tell anyone, its not a test.  If you lie, then you only fool yourself.  But if you struggle to answer ANY of these – having to sit back and really think about your answers, then you definitely need a coach!!!  The costs involved are easily recovered as a result of resolving the issue you are grappling with.  The knock on effects are unbounded if and when you find the coach you have a spark with.  So here you go, can you answer these without thinking too hard?

  • How would things change if you knew you had always done your best , completely and absolutely, with no redeeming consequences?
  • What are you willing to let go of to make room for what you really want?
  • What are the 3 things you would change immediately if you could?
  • What are you waiting for?
  • What will you do next?

How easy or difficult was that?  From as little as £75 per session (one-to-one) you can take the first steps to making tangible and real changes, or obtain total clarity over what you want to achieve in the next 12 months.  Book 8 sessions via the offer below, and get a one-off double session free (limited period only).

This is a perfect opportunity to turn desire into action via one quick click. Just do it!

 

THURSDAY THOUGHTS: How do you best learn?

vakEveryone learns best in their own way, and as time becomes more and more scarce, knowing your preferred learning style is vital if you are to make the most of that scarce time.  Do you like to listen to lectures or “how to” explanations; do you prefer to watch someone else do something first and learn from others experiences; do you like to read lots of books or papers and absorb the theory before trying to put it into practice; or do you like to get on with it and learn from how it evolves in real time?

My preferred analytic for determining learning styles is the Honey and Mumford Learning Style Inventory, combined with a  360 exercise. And if you have a team that needs to learn and develop as a group, these ingredients are excellent for illustrating scorings across a diversity of styles, and then designing high impact and longer lasting learning opportunities for everyone.

Individuals who have experienced a varied/generalist career pathway might if continual professional development has been a feature of their careers and subsequently embedded in their workplace, display very narrow but strong groupings (scores) for three out of the 4 recognised learning styles.  Some call this general roundedness in managerial learning terms and/or easy adaptability to new situations.  Pressure is usually welcomed by these individuals and they thrive on it.

Big swings and/or large discrepancies between strong preference and low or very low preferences show a developmental learning need if stress from vastly competing environments is to be avoided.

Therefore, one strong preference and 3 neatly grouped lesser preferences, ideally around the 10 or more mark indicates a highly adaptable individual.  Adaptable individuals are fairly mobile and very definitely sought after in the modern workplace.

However, a score below 10 could be considered a blind spot and blind spots are very much developmental areas if identified.

To find out your individual preferred learning style, or to book a team exercise in order to get the most out of future learning initiatives, get in touch here.  There is no need to waste money any longer on ill-fitting learning which produces no lasting value.  Let us do this analysis for you and maximise future value for money and development.

THURSDAY THOUGHTS! – Do you know your management style?

If you’ve been in work for even a nanosecond, you will have noticed that there are various styles that different managers display, sometimes depending upon the situation.  Sometimes, individuals have a strong preference for one particular style, and it is when the context or the circumstance dictates that an alternative style is called for, that you being to see whether you have a strong or a weak manager in your midsts!

There are 6 commonly recognised management styles. They are: 

DIRECTIVEdirector  

This is a rather coercive style which seeks instant compliance and appears quite bossy.  You will notice it from a style and tone of voice which dictates “do as I say or beware” and you hear it from those who are high on the control spectrum.  They seem to think folk are motivated by orders or even threats and their whole turn of conversation, features these sorts of overtones.

This is REALLY EFFECTIVE in time of crisis or when its very risky not to follow orders, so it definitely has its place. Unfortunately, its REALLY INEFFECTIVE when the workforce is skilled or used to acting on their own initiative, as they soon become resentful and very frustrated with what they see, as micromanagement.

firmbutfair

AUTHORITATIVE

This is a visionary style and usually provides more of a long-term direction for the workforce. It’s characterised by being firm but fair and provides motivation through clear standards, credibility and integrity.  These managers earn respect and apply fairness at every point.  They are highly knowledgeable and often have specialist authority in any workplace.

This is REALLY INEFFECTIVE when staff need development, or the vision is vague as people won’t follow it if they don’t believe in it, no matter how much the manager knows about it.

affiliativeAFFILIATIVE

This manager primarily creates harmony in the workplace, horizontally and vertically.  They are very people oriented and always put people before task.  They have a tendency to avoid conflict but are excellent motivational managers and they can often pick a project up off its knees when its stalled.  This style is HIGHLY EFFECTIVE when combined with other styles and is the one most often matched with others.  They are born counsellors or mediators. LESS EFFECTIVE in times of crisis or when performance needs tackling.

PARTICIPATIVE participative

The Democrat builds commitment and consensus with the workforce.  They are the manager that most seeks out and uses diversity in the team and always values everyone’s voice and input. They are very good indeed at motivating by rewarding individual and team efforts.  They are great team builders and VERY EFFECTIVE in steady work environments. If close supervision is required, or a crisis appears, these make for pretty poor leaders in these circumstances.

Screenshot 2013-11-14 17.14.57PACE SETTERS

Got to love these ones! They are profoundly driven, wanting to be first, fastest, highest, best achievers.  Exhausting usually! They very often resort to doing things themselves, in the vein hope that others will follow.  Highly motivated themselves, expects very high standards of everyone around them. Great when they are managing experts or highly competent teams who desire and require very little direction indeed.  HOPELESS when the goal or workload is dependent on the efforts of others who require direction, coercion, or explanation.

COACHINGcoaching

This manager loves long-term development of others. They  make it their mission in life! A very developmental manager, they help and encourage others to develop their strengths and weaknesses in order to reach personal potential.  Always seeking and providing developmental opportunities and recognises when others are motivated by improvement and recognition of all kinds.  They are less effective if the manager themselves are inexperienced and this type of manager grows from experience and self development.  They love translating their experience into the benefit of others.

Of course, you can now see how circumstances and/or context will best require different styles in any one manager.  The best managers can see what is required of any situation and adapt accordingly.  Sounds simple, but it takes years of practice to flip between styles and deliver it effectively.

Have you seen style-flipping or have you seen when others have struggled to suit the style to the situation?  How has these styles made you feel when you’ve been in particular team situations?  Please do let me know.

THURSDAY THOUGHTS! – Do you have three wishes?

threewisheslogoWhat is it that, if someone could grant you three wishes, you would wish to change in work tomorrow?  What are the issues which would make your professional life more enjoyable, productive or satisfying?

Would it surprise you to know that, without even knowing what they are, you are the author of making them happen?  There is absolutely no use worrying over things outside of your control, so act on those things that are within your control instead and I assure you that you will feel better about it.  Having  a good problem solving strategy in your pocket has been proven to underpin better health and enhanced self-esteem. So its win-win whichever way you look at it.

Coping mechanisms come in all shapes and sizes but roughly fall into three main groups:

  • Appraisal-focused strategies occur when the person modifies the way they think, for example: employing denial or distancing oneself from the problem. People may alter the way they think about a problem by altering their goals and values, such as by seeing the humour in a situation: some have suggested that humour may play a greater role as a stress moderator among women than men.  It’s a well known point that if you change the way you look at things, then the things you look at will change too;
  • People using problem-focused strategies try to deal with the cause of their problem. They do this by finding out information on the problem and learning new skills to manage the problem. Problem-focused coping is aimed at changing or eliminating the source of the stress. They ask loads of questions in any conversation to try and extract as much detail as they can.  They are born investigators and the very best problem-focussed folk follow a recognisable pattern of:
  1. define the problem
  2. gather relevant information
  3. identify possible causes
  4. identify possible solution
  5. test possible solution
  6. would out solution
  7. make a decision
  8. monitor results
  • Emotion-focused strategies involve releasing pent-up emotions, distracting oneself, managing hostile feelings, meditating or using systematic relaxation procedures. Emotion-focused coping is oriented toward managing the emotions that accompany the perception of stress.  For those choosing these kinds of strategy, a good grasp of emotional intelligence is required. You will  need to know and understand the 5 elements of EI:
  1. self awareness – understand yourself, your strengths and weaknesses and how you appear to others
  2. self regulation – master the ability to control yourself and think before you act
  3. motivation – know what your drive to succeed is grounded in
  4. empathy – master understanding other peoples’ viewpoints, whether or not you agree with them, appreciate where they are coming from and understand how they reach their conclusions
  5. social skills – develop your interpersonal and communication skills towards others.

Typically, people use a mixture of all three types of coping strategies, and coping skills will usually change over time. All these methods can prove useful, but some claim that those using problem-focused coping strategies will adjust better to the challenges they will inevitably face over time, particularly when promoted and issues become more complex and often multi-faceted.  Problem-focused coping mechanisms may allow an individual greater perceived control over their problem, whereas emotion-focused coping may sometimes lead to a reduction in perceived control.

It’s useful to master them all in due course.  A great coach can help of course 🙂

THURSDAY THOUGHTS! – We’ve all been there … haven’t we?

middles

Barry Oshry has spent many years theorising, analysing, describing and helping those who find themselves “managing from the middle”.  He says that the same scenarios exist in every organisation in all contexts; that those at the top of the office are at odds with those who do the work; and those in the middle are torn in two because of this and suffer stress as they perpetually spiral downwards trying to please everyone, taking ownership of   everyone else’s problems.

This is a scenario I have observed in every organisation I’ve ever worked for, and in some, I’ve been that “Middling” person sinking under the weight of being Mrs Fix-It for all and sundry.  It’s not a great place to be, physically, mentally or emotionally.

So what is this middling thing?  At it’s worst, it can be crippling to the individual concerned. I know because I’ve been there – thinking I was completely losing my mind and drowning under the never-ending receipt of actions which always came my way.  Some of the warning signals are as follows:

  • I’m a mess, weak, and nothing I do is ever good enough!
  • I’m letting everyone down
  • I can’t cope anymore
  • I’ll see what I can do (in response on the phone more than 3 times a day)
  • I’m running from one to the other all the time
  • I seem to have to make more and more excuses for everyone around me
  • I fee burnt out
  • I can’t work any harder, but it’s not enough
  • I never have the time to switch off
  • I’ve lost my voice, my independence – I used to have a mind of my own

Would you recognise what Oshry calls “the middle slide” if you saw it?  Do you even know you are doing it yourself?  Did you know that “middles” are absolutely critical in assuring that the goals of the organisation are realised.  So they are worth looking after and allowing them to rediscover their own independent judgement and voice again.

Watch Barry Oshry himself explain his theory and analysis here:

The way of addressing this involves all levels of management, not just the Middling.  It’s everyone’s responsibility to create a more  healthy leadership environment.  It’s an interesting theory and one that should be aired and tackled more overtly than I currently see it being.

If you believe you are a Middling – you are not alone – and ITS NOT YOUR FAULT!

THURSDAY THOUGHTS! – Could you benefit from short-term coaching?

Robin_coaching-iconI am very proud of a recent client whom I’d worked with to produce a short/medium and long-term career plan.  All her goals have now been achieved from that plan: a big professional one and an equally big vocational one.  It’s taken focus and dedication from her and just a little assistance from me to achieve clarity over what those goals actually were, and equally important, why and what motivated her towards them.  

As a result, I’m delighted to say that I’ve been given permission to quote her as follows:

Screenshot 2013-09-05 12.56.52

Read all about other successful aspects of Alison’s mentoring journey HERE

If you want to create a similar degree of clarity and purpose, I’m just a click away.  I promise you it will be painless 🙂

How do you go about planning your pathways and do they fall into disrepute quickly?  I really can help you set a plan, keep to that plan, and ultimately make it  happen.  Time in the year is running out so act today.

Finally, a massive congratulations to Alison for getting that promotion and making her vocation a reality!